How to Propose to Your Partner in 13 Simple Steps (2024)

Whether you met back in high school, through a mutual friend, at work, or on a dating app, you found love—and now you're ready to tell the world that your partner is "the one" for life. Acknowledging that you're committed to your significant other is only half of the battle, however: Planning a proposal is a major undertaking that involves everything from shopping for an engagement ring to memorizing that very important speech. Meaning, asking your partner to marry you involves more than just getting down on one knee—and preparation is key (this isn't a simple conversation, after all).

To help you make this long-awaited moment as perfect as possible (and to ensure it's the type of proposal your partner wants), we asked two experts to provide their top tips for popping the question. Ahead, here are 13 things you can’t forget to do before you get down on one knee.

What to Know Before Proposing to Your Partner

Proposing to your partner may be one of the most exciting—and nerve-wracking!—times of your life. Though you may have dreamt of this moment the minute you laid eyes on your significant other, actually uttering the words "Will you marry me" is something you need to be mentally prepared to do.

So, how do you get yourself ready for this all-important experience? "Think of all of the things that made you fall in love with them throughoutyour time together, and start visualizing and dreaming about the future you want for each other (family planning, holiday traditions, travel, work/life balance)," shares licensed mental health counselor Wale Okerayi. "Start thinking about the type of marriage you want to have and what tools you need to achieveit, and discuss your feelings about this significant life transition with a mental health professional."

Once you're mentally prepared to pop the question, follow the below steps to plan the perfect proposal your partner will remember forever.

How to Plan a Proposal in 13 Easy Steps

Ahead, here's how to plan an unforgettable and personal proposal.

Have a Conversation With Your Partner About the Future

This might seem obvious, but before you start plotting, it’s important to make sure you both have marriage on the brain. Talk to your partner about the future. Let them know that one day you’d like to be married and ask if they see marriage in their future, too. Nervous about making this conversation feel too much like a proposal? Keep it broad by discussing your best friend’s recent engagement and leading into it that way. Is it a hard conversation? Yes. But hopefully, you’ll come away from it with an idea of what your partner will say when you open that ring box.

Chat With Their Parents

Old-school? Yes. Important? Maybe. It really depends on the family. If your partner has hinted in any way that you need to ask his or her parents for their hand in marriage, do it. That doesn’t mean your partner is anyone’s property, though. Try something like this: "I am deeply in love with your son/daughter, and we want to spend our lives together. I am planning to propose and want you to be involved in this exciting moment."

Buy the Bauble

The engagement ring is a piece of jewelry your partner will wear every day for the rest of their life, so get a sense of what they really love. Snap photos of the jewelry they wear every day, take a peek at their Pinterest boards, or ask a close friend or family member to help narrow it down. As for jewelers, get recommendations to make sure you’re purchasing from a trusted store with great reviews and service.

Last, but certainly not least, find out their ring size. If it’s not a secret, just ask. If you’re going the surprise route, check your partner’s jewelry. Find a ring that he or she wears regularly (and make a note of which finger it goes on). Then either bring it with you to a jeweler or mark how far it fits on your own finger. Many jewelers can also make a good guess at a ring size based on your partner’s height and weight.

Get Personal

Now that you have a ring, it’s time to plan the proposal. Think about the type of proposal your partner will love, whether it’s a grand gesture, an intimate moment, or a surprise surrounded by family and friends. No matter your budget, proposal planner Alexandra Uritis says to first hone in on a beautiful, sentimental spot, which you can easily glamorize to set the mood. "Find a cool space that means something to them. It can just be your cozy living room, but deck it out with tons of candles and it completely changes the feel of the space," she advises. Earn major points with personalization, too, and steer clear of one-size-fits-all ideas.

Consider Hiring a Professional

You know your love best, but sometimes it's worth it to outsource a bit of proposal help. Companies like The Yes Girls take care of everything from logistics to sourcing vendors—just know that such a luxury will cost you. With thousands of proposals under their belts, these planners know a thing or two about making this milestone all the more memorable and, most importantly, worry-free. "You can stay calm and collected and enjoy this time because it’s a huge moment for you, too," Uritis says. "We can do all the backend things so you can take all the credit and look fabulous."

Prepare Your Speech

You don’t need to have your speech totally written out, but spend a little time jotting down what you’d like to say. Getting your thoughts on paper will give you some direction when it’s time to pop the question, even if you end up winging half of it anyway. As for what to say when you actually propose, Uritis's clients typically hit on their partner's best qualities or even recap the moment they knew they were "the one."

Okerayi adds: "Remind your partner about all of the reasons you love them and why you want to spend the rest of your life with them, share key moments in your relationship that grew your love and trust towards them (also add some funny moments), share the things you love about them (personality, passions, beliefs, etc), establish your long term commitment to them, and don't forget to ask the big question at the end"

Plan a Celebration

You don’t need to plan a full-on engagement party, but make sure you’ve got an idea of how the two of you will celebrate the big moment. Book a table at your favorite restaurant, tuck some Champagne in the fridge, or have a few friends waiting in the wings.

Set Up a Fake Backstory

To avoid blowing the surprise, come up with a foolproof ruse that leads your partner off track. They may know something's up, especially if you're taking a trip or have out-of-the-ordinary plans, but a fake game plan "keeps the proposer calm if he or she feels they're really insecure in this 'lie,'" Uritis says.

Keep the Ring Safe

From the second you have the ring in your hands, keep it safe. Invest in insurance and then find a safe place to hide the ring until it’s time. When you’re ready to propose, safety is still key. Make sure the ring is secure in a zipped pocket or safely in the box—somewhere you’ll be able to reach it easily without dropping it.

Have a Photographer on Standby

Whether you hire a professional or trust your future sister-in-law and her iPhone, your soon-to-be fiancé(e) will love you all the more for finding someone to document the occasion. If they have no idea the proposal's coming, you can expect absolutely epic reaction snapshots. In fact, Uritis highly recommends that her clients book a photographer, "especially in this day and age when you do it for the ‘gram." Bonus: You can even double down for an impromptu engagement shoot.

Discreetly Store the Ring

Nothing ruins spontaneity faster than your partner seeing the bulge of a ring box in your pocket. To save the day, The Yes Girls actually invented the ultimate proposal hack: the Box Sock. This wearable accessory comes with a small pocket and a tiny ring box, ready for immediate retrieval as soon as you stoop down to one knee.

Be Flexible

Life happens, so be prepared to go with the flow. Don’t rush the proposal just because the sun is about to set or dinner is nearly over—wait until the moment really feels right. And if you’ve planned something a little more low-key, that very well might mean waiting a few days if your sweetheart is stressed from work or the weather isn’t cooperating.

Don't Rush It

Now you're ready to pop the question! When the moment comes, take a deep breath, get down on one knee, and pitch the sentimental speech you've probably rehearsed a million times. According to Uritis, it really doesn't matter which knee you go down on, but if you've stashed the ring in your sock, then kneel on the opposite side. Give your partner a moment—ample time must be given to process/cry/hug it out. Then, once they've collected themselves, figure out when to officially put on the ring. Or your partner may beat you to the punch and hold out their hand for you to do the honors.