'It Ends With Us' Handles Some Heavy Adult Issues—Is It Ok for Tweens and Teens? (2024)

It’s not often that a movie adaptation is equally as good as a bestselling book. However, under the direction of Justin Baldoni, It Ends With Us, adapted from Colleen Hoover’s wildly popular book, exceeds expectations, does the book justice, and showcases beautiful storytelling.

Now in theaters, It Ends With Us stars Blake Lively as Lily Bloom, Justin Baldoni as Ryle Kincaid, Brandon Sklenar as Atlas Corrigan, Jenny Slate as Alyssa, and Hasan Minhaj as Marshall.

It Ends With Us masterfully depicts a romantic drama, without being superficial about the complexities and realities that come along with serious relationships, and depicts in a fair and honest way that monogamous dating is not for the weak.

What makes this storyline especially endearing is that it does not showcase cute, fluffy, convenient, showy, or shallow love. Rather, it diplomatically showcases aspects of love and relationships that are challenging and not so pretty, yet enduring and long-lasting.

While several book reviewers recommend It Ends With Us for older teens due to mature romantic themes, this may be a movie your tween or teen is interested in seeing. But are the themes age-appropriate?

All About 'It Ends With Us'

Lily Bloom has always dreamed of opening her very own flower shop. When she moves to Boston to do so, she meets Ryle Kincaid, a good-looking surgeon with a hot temper. Over time they fall for one another, despite Lily seeing some traits of her abusive father in Ryle.

All is well until she bumps into her first love Atlas Corrigan, who she hasn’t seen in many years, at a restaurant named Root. While Lily seems happy in her current relationship, Atlas, her childhood love, opens up a floodgate of memories from their youth.

One of the strongest aspects of this movie is that it centers on the notion that anything hidden in your family, or past relationships will present itself in your current relationships and that it’s not until one is willing to do deep, personal inner work that the patterns of generational trauma will end.

Forming friendships and relationships with a strongly ‘rooted’ foundation is a continuum throughout the movie. It is not the superficial, comfortable relationships that endure, but those with roots.

The Themes of 'It Ends With Us'

In It Ends With Us, family trauma is a huge theme. Lily has always had a strained relationship with her now-deceased father. Even after his death, the impact of his abuse towards her mother lingers on.

Atlas, too, comes from a household where his mother deals with abusive men, but Atlas and Lily have a childhood bond that transcends their emotional pain and their difference in socioeconomic status.

Atlas struggled with homelessness and food insecurity in his youth, but Lily saw past this and recognized the beauty of his heart and spirit. This is a great opportunity to discuss with tweens and teens the importance of judging peers based on their character and how they treat others, as opposed to factors like wealth.

True friendship is a big theme in It Ends With Us, and is truly personified in the relationship between Lily and Ryle's sister Alyssa.

Jenny Slate as Alyssa is phenomenal. Alyssa shows that the power of being a friend who loves unconditionally can at times surpass family ties. While Alyssa loves her brother, she does not shy away from being transparent with Lily about his sexual promiscuity and anger management issues.

Additionally, just as Atlas having less money does not take away from his beautiful heart, Alyssa has a heart of gold despite being married into wealth. Her character truly exemplifies what it means to be a "girl’s girl," and shows that money does not define a person.

Is 'It Ends With Us' Ok for Tweens and Teens?

If you're a parent who isn't afraid of having transparent and genuine conversations around real-life issues in an age-appropriate manner, this movie will offer that opportunity and more.

However, before you dive into this movie with your tween or teen, it is important to know that It Ends With Us has been given a PG-13 rating for its depiction of themes like domestic violence, some strong language, and sexual content.

Language and themes

It Ends With Us is a definite must-see for mature tweens and teens, because it showcases important conversations around dating, monogamy, casual sex, identifying toxic traits in a partner, recognizing negative family traits and behavior, and what it means to be a true friend.

When speaking with my 15-year-old daughter after watching this movie together, she shared that many teenagers have unrealistic fantasies about what love looks like. She appreciated how Lily, Atlas, and Ryle were characters with serious flaws who still took a chance at love.

In an important scene in the movie, Lily has to make a tough decision to permanently remove someone from her life to end her family's cycle of abuse. This moment provides a good opportunity to share with teens who are navigating dating and friendships about the importance of knowing when to release toxic relationships from their lives.

There is also an unplanned pregnancy in the movie, and the woman decides to keep the baby. For parents who feel comfortable with this topic, it’s an opportunity to have deep conversations about pregnancy and safety.

Despite its mature themes, there is not much strong language throughout this movie. Someone is called a “smart ass,” and a teen is taunted for being poor.

Sexual innuendos

Some moments throughout It Ends With US allude to sex, but sex scenes are never actually shown onscreen. There are scenes involving kissing, flirting, and gentle touching, but this provides a potential opportunity for adults to open a conversation about consent with your child.

There is some back rubbing, touching of thighs, and talk of sex. But parents need to know that in this movie, Lily does not believe in casual sex or dating. It is important to her to form true connection before moving into a sexual aspect of a relationship.

There is a scene where an older teenage girl loses her virginity, but again, this is not shown on camera. While there’s talk of love and sex, everything is depicted tastefully, and as a parent of a mature and sensible teen, I found the scenes to be appropriate.

Mild violence

There’s some violence in It Ends With Us, but it too lends itself to important conversations about abuse.

A successful husband repeatedly physically abuses his wife. A father beats a teenage boy very badly, and there’s a brawl in a restaurant. A wife is pushed down the stairs by her husband, a woman is bitten by a partner (the act isn’t shown on screen, but is alluded to), and a man has a temper tantrum and kicks around a chair, and breaks some furniture in a rage.

As a parent, this is where you can use your best judgment as to what your tween or teen can handle, and what you are willing to allow them to watch.